~extract from the book....~
" It was at this time that I
started meditating. Lynne taped some meditations for night
listening. I hadn't been sleeping very well and didn’t
want to take any more sleeping pills. The Boy had given
me a portable CD-and-tape player as a surprise gift, so
I would sit up in bed every night and listen. Most nights
I'd only get half way through a tape and fall asleep.
Meditation also helped me in my daily life. I also began
to experience light-headedness. I felt dizzy most of the
time and walked around with my hands at the back of my
head. I wasn’t sure if it was caused by hunger,
weight-loss or heartache. Or maybe I had a brain tumour!
About six months later I found out the cause. My Reiki
Master told me I wasn’t grounded. I was living up
there being a space-cadet, instead of having two feet
firmly on the ground. I'd started to lift off and open
up without even realising it. I still had so much to learn
about this airy fairy stuff."
"My throat became
sore and constricted, the band was being pulled tighter.
I wanted to scream. It was as if my whole insides were
crying out to be heard. Please let it be over and done
with soon! My dreams don’t lie. I can’t live
on this razor’s edge for much longer.........
12:00 am. This is the night. I can feel it.........
The Boy walked into my room and got into his usual side
of the bed. I felt the doona go back as he slipped in
beside me.........
He said he needed help. Something had happened to him.
Only I could help. I told him this was one time I couldn’t
help him. He was dead. He didn’t believe me. He
pleaded. Yet how could he be dead? We laid together until
dawn, never expecting the new day would herald the call
I was about to hear. That call ended my life as I knew
it."
"It was on this day that songs started to be sent
to me, initially on my car radio. Later, the phone system
at work. He would flash the red battery-light on my
car's dash, if there was a song he wanted me to hear.
The phone at work was a different matter all together.
The message-button would buzz. NO sound had EVER came
from this button! That was my sign to turn up the radio
for his message of love. It was his way of communicating.
We'd played this game when he was alive. That was our
dress-rehearsal."
"I started to feel things on and around my body,
especially the face. The feeling was like walking into
a cobweb and having the sticky fibres cling over your
face and hair. My ears became like antennas and acquired
a kind of universal sensitivity. My nose started to
react as if to sneeze, or if it were being tickled by
a feather. At night I felt tingling sensations all over
my body and I'd become hot or cold. This was so unlike
anything I understood. I felt flashes of terror, cliff-falling
moments of vertigo when I thought I'd gone too far,
lost my purpose, forgotten who or where I was. What
was going on? ......
Things that didn’t add up. Certain events leading
to his death were, well . . .
bizarre! "
"The Boy still came to me at night. I could smell
his cigarettes! I could feel his side of the bed go
down when he lies on it. The cat is once again sleeping
with me, but she keeps looking at something. It's been
three weeks, yet a lifetime since his death. So much
has happened!"
"I'd begun to lose faith in Western medicine.
I noticed patients leaving the consulting-rooms with
a handful of scripts, feeling they got what they paid
for. Did the doctor ever investigate the underlying
cause of the problem? Are they just putting Band-Aids
on great festering wounds? Why not, eh, if it keep 'em
coming back? I was frustrated with the system. My heart
cried out for some kind of justice for patients. Someone
to answer their calls for help.
The true cause of dis-ease is not just symptoms, it
is the emotion attached to that symptom that is the
underlying reason for us to be at dis-ease with out
bodies. Why couldn’t anyone hear their cries for
help?"
"The Boy came into my room. I saw the drapes moving.......
...... I knew our time was limited......He promised
me we'd be together in our next life. It had been promised.
– I woke up crying into my pillow.
I spent all night with him in between sleeps. He's still
with me this morning, for how much longer I don't know.
He came into my body."
" “You and your beloved friend had an
initiation into the other side of our teachings. It
takes all kinds and types to pass on the teachings of
the universe. Don't scoff at different sects, they give
you different perspectives on the Lord our God’s
teachings and philosophies. Keep your mind clear and
simple at all times....."
"Until the human mind worries about its own karma,
instead of being so judgmental, peace will never reign.
Humans must follow their own passion and experience
their own inner bliss, until this is done, discontentment
will fester into almighty boils. Apathy and resentment,
loss of heart, mind, body and spirit, loss of direction,
anger ,jealousy, greed, grief for the loss of our vital
spark sets in and rots. These are all FEAR based emotions
which dis-ease the temple within. We've lost sight of
what really matters: love, compassion, empathy, joy,
laughter, happiness, an open heart, body and soul."
