It seems such a simple thing, doesn’t it? Yet we make it all so complicated. It is not that we always want to have a complex life, most of us yearn for peace, in what ever form that may come in.
During the week I was a guest at a meditation night. The person who was running the evening guided those who attended through a meditation on manifesting your heart’s desires. I started with the usual things…a home of our own, money to make our lives easier and um…what else do I want? Oh yes, to see my books fly out the door into many, many hearts around the world, and to be able to do my own work, where I can be free to let loose and share what I have come to know without having to stop and realize my place is to be in a support role, not the main actor. This does not mean I was not grateful for the gift I had been given in being invited to be the support. I was very thankful. However, it showed me it wasn’t enough for me any more!
All of a sudden my mind stopped picturing my future, instead focusing on the present.
I pictured Chris and I living in the home we are in, although not ours, grateful for a roof over our heads. I saw food in the fridge, our children all healthy and prospering, now having families of their own. I pictured my two grand-angels, soon to be three, and felt so blessed to be able to feel their little arms around my neck and to be able to cradle the new born in my arms, looking down at his huge eyes as they bore deep within my soul.
Although I am feeling frustrated and itching to do more with my work, I could see why I wrote this time of quietness and hibernation into my story…this is my time to recoup my energies and strength after many years of stress and my body shutting down, causing severe fatigue and unending other symptoms of wanting to bow out of this earth and yearning to go back ‘home’, where I truly belong.
When I wrote ‘Messages of Love – my spiritual awakening’, I did not know or realize by writing my very personal story, how many would write to me and tell me it was like I had written theirs too!
A young lady came to see me through the week for counselling. She asked me why her life had turned out the way it had?
“You wrote your own story,” I replied.
“Why would I make it so hard? I don’t understand.”
“For your soul’s growth and lessons.”
“Why would my soul need to grow?”
“For your evolution. Look outside this physical life, called earth. We have come to think of this as ‘it’…yet, it is just a stopping stone. Once we leave this holiday destination, we move on to another. However, if we have not grown and learnt from our story, then we create a new one with the same scenarios and challenges to live through all over again in another incarnation.”
A caterpillar seems to have the insight to know that it is not born to stay a caterpillar for all of its life. At sometime in its evolution it knows instinctively when it is time to spin its cocoon, rest in hibernation while it is transforming and growing wings, then to rebirth into the butterfly.
We humans think we are the smart ones!
The caterpiller is fully aware of its story. However, sometimes it doesn’t quite work out the way it was planned. Many obstacles are put in its way…mankind with garden sprays and a heavy foot, birdlife, animal life who may look at it for a good feed, a lawn mower on a mission, and many other life threatening things are presented to make a small and furry caterpillers life more interesting!
We are no different. Life also throws us many, many obstacles and challanges.
Sometimes if we don’t have a hic-cup in our lives, we make one happen! It is almost as if we feel we don’t deserve to have a worry free existance. Then if we don’t, we blame someone else for our crap!
Your life is not someone else’s story, although you may be in it! You own story is uniquely your own. You wrote it before birth for whatever reason you needed to learn and grow from and through it.
With my meditation, I didn’t need to see the future, or to create one, for I know I have already created it in my story. I like surprises, so I don’t want to set myself up for a scenario that may be completely on the wrong track, expecting it to be manifested just the way I saw it. I would like my story to be much bigger than I could ever imagine…much grander, with a greater purpose. I don’t want to be small, however I do wish to stay humble, and like the butterfly, to flitter from here to there without leaving a trace.
I am not one for fame, like the film stars or royalty. I am a Virgo, the hermit. I like my quiet time too much for that. Yet, I do want recognition for the many hours of effort I have put into this preparation of my life so far.
By that I mean to be able to see my books on book shelves all over the globe…not for what it may give back to me, however, for what they can give to you. To be able to assist you in your heart healing though my workshops or talks would make my heart sing. Not because I think I have healed your hearts, because I have assisted you in awakening you to heal your own.
In my future I would like to do my medium and hands on healing work again…however, if I have not written that into my story because of the Addison’s disease I have, then I have to trust I wrote something more magnificent, something bigger and greater that makes my spirit soar.
When you are feeling low or down, remember these simple words, ‘All I have in my life is my own story.’ If you don’t like the story you wrote, then change it…go to act two. Change your actors and bring in new ones, set up new scenery and scenes. However, let me tell you this, if you have not changed act one and grown from it, then you will take parts of it with you into act two! Not because you want to, but because it is all you know!
Take some responsibility for your life so far and accept it, bless it and let it go if you need to!
This life is all you have for now, so you may as well enjoy it and have some fun!
With much love, from my heart to yours…Jen xxx
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