I was asked yesterday if I was lonely with Chris in hospital. To be honest this is the first morning I have for me since that horrible Monday on my birthday.
After ‘The Boy’ (in Messages of Love) died, he guided me to live in Queensland. My longtime friend found me a house to rent in the bush! It was isolated and I loved it, so I packed up everything and took a huge leap of faith. The hardest thing was leaving my children, family and friends behind in Victoria.
It didn’t take too long before I began to find myself… My days were spent meditating, beach time, nature time, connecting with Yeshua, feeding the possums and wildlife…getting used to not feeling/being responsible for another.
I needed a time of deep healing… alone. Those who have read Messages of Love will know what I mean.
After another year solo, I guess God decided I needed a partner, so He sent Chris. Yet, although in a relationship, I have still remained a person who doesn’t rely on another for my happiness. And this takes some practice. I am an individual link, separate to the whole. We are not two magnets attached to the other. Being attached to another, where I can’t be free to break away, strangles my sense of freedom. I need breathing space.
It doesn’t mean I don’t love, I do…It’s an unconditional love…Chris is like a diamond added to my bracelet. You are the gems, and I am the links.
So, am I lonely? No.
Am I alone? No.
Am I all-one? I should be, however I have come to realize there are two parts of me… the flesh, and all its thoughts, actions, quirks, feelings, stories, dramas… the story of my life. And the soul of me, I AM that I’m trying to find again during this quiet time, what little there has been.
So, dear friends, don’t let a drama be the thing that forces you to find that space within. Make friends with it… it’s been waiting for you your entire life.
Take some quiet time today to find it… it is missing you.
In gratitude and love eternally xxx
Comments